The other parent isn't following the judgment: what to document, and in what form

1. First of all: reread the judgment, line by line

The starting point is not what you understood, or what you told each other verbally. It is the exact wording of the judgment or of the homologated agreement. That document, and only that document, is what the court will compare to the facts you report.

Take it out and pinpoint the clauses that govern the exchanges. Some wording is strict (“Friday at 5 p.m. sharp”), other wording is loose (“as agreed between the parties”). A loose clause is much harder to have a court enforce, because there is then no clear obligation that could have been breached.

Also note who the judgment applies to, from what date it applies, and whether it has already been changed since. A more recent judgment replaces the earlier one.

• The exact days and the start and end times of each period
• The place of the exchange and who picks the child up, who brings them back
• What is provided for school breaks, holidays, spring break, the summer
• The clauses on calls or contact from a distance
• What is provided if a parent cannot exercise their period (notice, make-up time)
• The date of the judgment and the court file number

Since March 2021, the Divorce Act has spoken of “parenting time” rather than “custody” and “access rights” for people who were married. The older terms are still used for parents who were not. The vocabulary differs, the logic stays the same: it is the wording of the judgment that governs.

2. An isolated late arrival and a repeated problem are not the same thing

This is probably the most important point in this whole guide, and the one that surprises parents most. In Quebec family law, a parent is expected to show a certain tolerance for minor lateness. Being twenty minutes late on a stormy Friday evening will not lead to a court remedy.

What changes the nature of the problem is the repetition. Éducaloi says that frequent, repeated lateness can justify acting · through a discussion, a demand letter, or a court application. In other words: one incident is an incident. Twelve incidents in four months is a pattern.

And a pattern can only be shown with a record. Nobody can reconstruct from memory, a year later, the twelve dates involved and how late each one was. That is exactly where most cases fall apart: the parent knows it happens “all the time,” but can only name the last two or three episodes.

The practical consequence is simple: even if you have no intention of going to court, starting to write things down now is what will leave you the choice later. If you note nothing for six months and the situation gets worse, those six months will be practically lost as evidence.

3. What the court will actually ask you for

You need to understand what a family law hearing actually looks like, because that dictates the form your documentation has to take.

In civil and family matters, the standard of proof is the balance of probabilities : you have to convince the judge that your version is more likely than the other parent's. It is not absolute certainty that is asked of you, but it is not a bare assertion either. Two contradicting versions with nothing to back them up leave the court at an impasse.

A crucial point for urgent applications: the hearing for a safeguard order is short, often a few dozen minutes, and there is usually no oral testimony. The judge decides from the documents in the file and from the written sworn statements. Your account therefore has to fit in a written document, structured and dated · not in what you would have wanted to explain out loud.

A sworn statement (sometimes called an affidavit) has to be signed before a commissioner for oaths, a notary or another person authorized to receive the oath. A fee of about $5 per signature may be charged. What you write in it puts your credibility on the line: anything exaggerated or unverifiable can be turned against you.

Finally, if you are the one asking the court for something, you are the one who carries the burden of proof. It is not up to the other parent to show they followed the judgment; it is up to you to show they did not.

4. What to document, and in what form

Here is the practical heart of this guide. The goal is not to write a diary, or to build a case against the other parent. The goal is to be able to answer, calmly and precisely, the question everyone will ask you · lawyer, mediator, judge: “Which dates, exactly?”

For each episode, write down the same small number of items. Being consistent matters more than being long. A four-line entry written the same evening is worth infinitely more than a page written six months later.

• The date and thetime set out in the judgment (e.g.: Friday, September 12, 5 p.m.)
• What actually happened, with the time (e.g.: arrived at 6:40 p.m.; or: did not show up)
• Thegap in plain terms (1 hour 40 minutes late; full period not exercised)
• The notice you received, if there was any: at what time, by what means, in what words
• Who was present or a witness (the other grandparent, the babysitter, the daycare educator)
• Theconcrete effect on the child and on your logistics (missed their swimming lesson; waited 40 minutes in the car; I had to leave work)
• The attached exhibit that goes with it, if there is one (screenshot of the message, email, receipt, photo of the dashboard clock)

On tone, one precaution that matters a great deal. Describe observable facts, not intentions or value judgments. Write “arrived at 6:40 p.m., with no message beforehand,” not “he doesn't care about his son at all.” The first statement is verifiable and will read as credible. The second is not verifiable and makes your document look like a settling of scores · which weakens everything else, including your solid facts.

Also write down what goes well. A record that contains nothing but complaints is less credible than one showing that ten exchanges out of fifteen went fine and five were a problem. The second version is stronger, precisely because it is visibly honest.

Finally, write things down as you go. A record built day by day has a completely different value from a document written in one sitting the day before a hearing. The date on which a note was taken is part of what makes it convincing.

5. The exhibits to keep, and what the law accepts as evidence

Your record is the backbone. The exhibits are what support it. In family matters, evidence can take several forms: a person's testimony, a written document, a photograph, an audio or video recording, an object.

• The text messages and emails exchanged about the transfers: keep them intact, with the date and time visible, without cropping them in a way that changes their meaning
• The records from a co-parenting communication app, if you use one
• The confirmations from third parties : a note from the daycare or the school confirming the time of arrival or the absence
• The proof of the steps you took yourself : the demand letter you sent, proof of receipt, your offers of make-up time
• The court documents : the judgment, the proceedings already filed

As for recordings, the nuance matters. An audio or video recording is a piece of material evidence. But to be admitted, whoever files it has to show who the people speaking are, and that the recording is authentic, complete, unaltered and intelligible. A ten-second clip taken out of context is easily attacked.

Case law also draws a distinction between a recording where the person recording is taking part in the conversation themselves · where it is generally considered that there is no invasion of privacy · and a recording made by a third party without the speakers' knowledge, which can amount to interception of a private communication and infringe the right to privacy. Having your child record a conversation, for example, is not a harmless step.

The court must in fact reject, even on its own initiative, evidence obtained in conditions that infringe fundamental rights and freedoms where using it would bring the administration of justice into disrepute. Evidence obtained in a questionable way can therefore not only be set aside, but hurt the person presenting it. If you have doubts about a specific exhibit, that is a question to put to a lawyer before filing it.

6. Your options for enforcing the judgment

Quebec law offers not one door but several, from the lightest to the heaviest. None is automatic, and the choice is yours.

• Talking about it directly with the other parent, relying on dated facts rather than general complaints
• Family mediation, with an accredited mediator taking part in the Ministère de la Justice program
• The demand letter : a written letter asking that the situation stop, within a reasonable time
• An application to change the custody or parenting time judgment
• The safeguard order, when the situation is urgent
• Contempt of court, reserved for the most serious situations and treated as a last resort
• Habeas corpus, a rare procedure that can apply when a child is unlawfully detained by one of their parents

On mediation, a concrete figure: the Ministère de la Justice program offers 5 free hours for a first agreement when there are dependent children, and 2.5 free hours when the point is to review an agreement already reached or a judgment already rendered · which is your case if a judgment exists. Beyond that, the rate is $130 an hour before taxes ($110 for mediations started before November 23, 2023). The mediator must be accredited and take part in the program.

On demand letter : you can write it yourself. It should stay short · a page and a half at most, and the deadline you give has to be realistic. Anything you write in it can be used against you in court, so precision and honesty are essential. Keep a copy and proof of receipt: bailiff, registered mail, or email with a read receipt.

These different routes are not necessarily sequential, and the Ministère points out that the heaviest procedures rarely lead to better relations between separated parents. That is something to weigh, along with the facts of your case, with someone who can advise you.

7. Contempt of court: what it really is

This is the procedure people hear about most, and the one most often misunderstood. Section 58 of the Code de procédure civile provides that a person is guilty of contempt of court if they disobey an order or an injunction of the court, or act in a way that impedes the normal course of the administration of justice or undermines the authority or dignity of the court.

The first thing to remember: the burden of proof is the criminal one, namely beyond a reasonable doubt. That is the most demanding standard there is. You have to show that the person deliberately ignored the judgment and that nothing justifies their behaviour. A genuine obstacle, an illness, an accident, or a new fact can rule out guilt.

The procedure is formal. The person concerned has to be summoned to appear by an order of the court, on a specific day and at a specific time, to hear the evidence of the acts alleged against them and to present their defence. That order has to state precisely the nature of the alleged breaches · a vague reference is not enough. It has to be served personally, unless the court authorizes another method of notification because the circumstances do not allow it.

The penalties set out in section 62 are limited: a fine of no more than $10,000 for an individual ($100,000 for a legal person), or performing community service whose nature, conditions and length are set by the court. If the person persists in refusing to comply with the order, the court may also order imprisonment, for a period that can never exceed one year.

In family matters, official sources present contempt as a remedy of last resort, to be used with judgment. The courts also take the child's interest into account, and new facts arising since the order can lead to a contempt charge being dismissed. In practical terms, the “beyond a reasonable doubt” standard means approximate memories will not do: you need dates, times and exhibits.

8. Having the judgment changed rather than punished

Many parents find that what they are looking for is not to have the other punished, but to get a judgment that works · because the current judgment no longer fits, or because the constant failure to follow it has become the real problem.

To change custody or parenting time, you have to show a significant change in the child's needs or in a parent's ability to care for them, a change that was not foreseeable when the original arrangement was set. A move that makes the schedule unworkable, or the child starting high school, are examples given by official sources.

Éducaloi points out that a custodial parent who refuses to let the other parent exercise the access rights set out in the judgment is exposed both to contempt of court proceedings and and to an application by the other parent to change the child's custody. Repeated non-compliance is therefore not only a fault: it can become part of the picture the judge looks at.

The test that governs every custody decision remains thebest interests of the child. The judge takes into account, among other things, the child's age, their relationship with each parent, their state of health, the parents' ability to communicate with each other, their ability to care for the child, and the presence of family violence. A teenager's opinion may also be considered.

If both parents agree on a new arrangement, it should be put in writing and can be homologated by the court to give it the force of a judgment. That is often faster and much less expensive than a contested debate.

9. When it's urgent: the safeguard order

A safeguard order is a temporary judgment that settles an urgent question without waiting for the final hearing. It can deal, among other things, with a change in the children's custody.

The essential condition is to show the urgency of the situation. The application is made in writing, in a document called an “application for a safeguard order,” setting out the measures you want and explaining why the situation cannot wait.

Its period of validity cannot exceed 6 months, but it can usually be renewed. When it expires, the parties can extend it if they agree, or ask for a new one by showing the urgency again.

Remember what was said in section 3: this hearing is short and is decided on the documents in the file and the written sworn statements. It is the kind of application where a dated record, kept for weeks, makes all the difference between a readable case and an unverifiable story.

10. When the child isn't brought back at all

This is a different situation, a more serious one, and it has to be treated as such. If a custody judgment exists and the other parent refuses to bring the child back, the Ministère de la Justice says you should file a complaint with the police and also consult a lawyer.

The Criminal Code sets out offences on this. Section 282 covers a parent, tutor or person having the lawful care or charge of a child under 14 who takes, entices away, detains, receives or conceals the child in contravention of a custody order or a parenting order made by a court in Canada, with intent to deprive another person of possession of the child. Section 283 covers a similar situation, whether or not there is a custody order; no proceedings may be started under it without the consent of the Attorney General or a lawyer mandated by them.

The situation is different before a judgment is rendered. At the breakup stage, police normally do not step in to move children from one parent to the other. It can then make sense to ask the court for an urgent custody judgment, which can be obtained in a few days and will temporarily determine who has custody.

If the child is taken or kept outside Canada, there are separate mechanisms and the Ministère de la Justice du Québec offers a specific assistance service. This is a case where you should not wait.

In all these situations, immediately write down the exact time the child should have been brought back, the time of your calls, what the messages you received said, when you contacted the police and the event number they give you. You will be asked for these.

11. Common mistakes

Some reactions are humanly understandable but hurt the case of the person who has them. Here they are, without judgment.

• Stopping support payments because parenting time isn't being respected. A parent has no right to decide to stop paying support because they consider that the other parent owes them something: the right to support belongs to the child, even though it is a parent who receives it on their behalf.
• Refusing access in retaliation. A parent who blocks the access set out in the judgment exposes themselves to contempt of court and to an application to change custody.
• Writing nothing down and relying on memory. That is the most costly mistake, and the most common.
• Writing value judgments instead of facts. A record full of general accusations weakens the solid facts it contains.
• Reconstructing everything the day before a hearing. A document written in one sitting does not carry the same weight as a record kept day by day.
• Using the child as a messenger or a witness, in particular by having them record the other parent.
• Believing that “the child doesn't want to go” settles the matter. The parent who has custody must encourage the child to see the other parent as much as possible. The child's age and the reasons for their refusal count · the older the child, the more their opinion is a factor to consider, but unilaterally refusing access without a serious reason exposes you to contempt. The proper route is to ask the court to change or frame the access.
• Waiting. There is no fixed time limit for asking that a judgment be enforced, but a safeguard order requires showing urgency · which gets harder the longer the situation goes on with nothing written down.

12. Where to get real legal advice

This guide explains what the law says and what the court does. It does not tell you what to do in your situation · that decision is yours, and it is better made with someone who has read your judgment and knows your facts.

• Legal aid offers the services of a lawyer free or at low cost depending on your income. The eligibility thresholds are indexed every May 31: as of May 31, 2025, a single person working 35 hours a week at minimum wage, that is $29,302 a year, qualified for the free component. Check the current threshold at csj.qc.ca.
• The community justice centres (13 in Quebec) provide free legal information, support and guidance to anyone, whatever their income, with walk-in consultations during consultation hours.
• Family mediation with an accredited mediator: 2.5 free hours to review a judgment already rendered when there are dependent children.
• JuridiQC and Éducaloi for reliable, free general information.
• The Barreau du Québec and its referral service to find a family law lawyer.

Disclaimer: this text is general legal information and does not constitute legal advice. Every case is different, and only a legal professional who knows your situation can advise you. The amounts and thresholds mentioned are those verified on the date of writing and may have been indexed since.

This guide is general legal information about Quebec law, not advice on your situation. Rules and amounts change: always check the official source. For a specific question, a lawyer, legal aid or a community justice centre remain the references.